The Vinegar Fallacy

I adore vinegar. It's one of my go-to cleaning products, it's great for glass, stainless steel, pickles... pretty much fabulous.

Here's a bit of a backstory: when I was in high school, I was a deodorant abuser. I used ridiculous amounts every day. I wish I had insight into the high schooly brain-stupids that made me do it, but I don't. I just know I did it. We all did a lot of stupid things in high school, at least this one smelled ok, inscrutable though it was. Now, at the this time, there was a New York-based gothabilly band called The Brickbats. I adored them. A more old-fashioned person might say I thought I hung the moon. That's how amazing I thought they were, and I still kind of do. I begged my parents to let me go to their shows, I fake ID'ed and low-cut shirt snuck my way in.

Flashforward to now, and I have this adorbs Brickbats t-shirt with ridiculous amounts of deodorant stained in. These are some amazingly set-in stains, about ten years. So imagine my delight when the internet told me that vinegar, my beloved vinegar, could remove these stains. Soak overnight in a mixture of vinegar and water, internet said. No ratios, no further advice. Fine, I thought, 2 parts to 1 part should do it, since it usually goes that way with vinegar. So I soaked the shirt overnight. My apartment reeked of vinegar, the cat stormed around accusing me of war crimes and sneezing. And it didn't fucking work.

Deodorant is an interesting type of stain (I say interesting, but I mean bastard) because it's a waxy buildup rather than an aberrant pigmentation. So there you have it, The Vinegar Fallacy. Vinegar will not remove deodorant stains. I'll be trying ammonia and 20 Mule Team and I'll get back to you.

Right now, I'm in a lovely purple house dress and a strand of pearls to take my tattooed punkass up to Georgetown for an estate sale. Dress for the activity, a floral dress is always appropriate, pearls always look classy, and I'm hunting wild linens.