Ammonia? I hardly know ya!

Oh. Oh my g-d, I really am so sorry about that pun, except for the part where I'm not. It's not that nothing's been happening here, it's just nothing of *note* has been happening. Should I write about the time I became a total hipster with a wolf and princess shirt? I'd rather not, it's a dark point in my life that looks totally freakin' awesome, ok? That princess is a total hot Jewess. Just. Like. Me. I can't write about cheaply matting art prints in pre-made frames using synthetic linen... because that's all there is to say about that.

I can tell you, though, that when you work with ammonia, use rubber gloves (by which I mean latex), because my hands are feelin' all funny and my nails all broke off. It's ok, I painted them neon pink and my shirt is damn near rescued. On that, I really will have pictures in the week to follow (and then I will show you some fabulous fucking insanity with Ikea furniture).

The Vinegar Fallacy

I adore vinegar. It's one of my go-to cleaning products, it's great for glass, stainless steel, pickles... pretty much fabulous.

Here's a bit of a backstory: when I was in high school, I was a deodorant abuser. I used ridiculous amounts every day. I wish I had insight into the high schooly brain-stupids that made me do it, but I don't. I just know I did it. We all did a lot of stupid things in high school, at least this one smelled ok, inscrutable though it was. Now, at the this time, there was a New York-based gothabilly band called The Brickbats. I adored them. A more old-fashioned person might say I thought I hung the moon. That's how amazing I thought they were, and I still kind of do. I begged my parents to let me go to their shows, I fake ID'ed and low-cut shirt snuck my way in.

Flashforward to now, and I have this adorbs Brickbats t-shirt with ridiculous amounts of deodorant stained in. These are some amazingly set-in stains, about ten years. So imagine my delight when the internet told me that vinegar, my beloved vinegar, could remove these stains. Soak overnight in a mixture of vinegar and water, internet said. No ratios, no further advice. Fine, I thought, 2 parts to 1 part should do it, since it usually goes that way with vinegar. So I soaked the shirt overnight. My apartment reeked of vinegar, the cat stormed around accusing me of war crimes and sneezing. And it didn't fucking work.

Deodorant is an interesting type of stain (I say interesting, but I mean bastard) because it's a waxy buildup rather than an aberrant pigmentation. So there you have it, The Vinegar Fallacy. Vinegar will not remove deodorant stains. I'll be trying ammonia and 20 Mule Team and I'll get back to you.

Right now, I'm in a lovely purple house dress and a strand of pearls to take my tattooed punkass up to Georgetown for an estate sale. Dress for the activity, a floral dress is always appropriate, pearls always look classy, and I'm hunting wild linens.

Oh, Hi.

Wow, I'm finally doing this blog that I've been saying I wanted to do for about a year now. Amazing. I'm pleased to add to the huge number of crafty blogs out there.

I'm called Dame sometimes. Megadeth is my favorite band and one can often catch me talking smack about Metallica's more recent albums, but Metallicrafts was such a good pun I couldn't pass it up. I get like that sometimes.

I sew, oh how I sew. See, I come from a long line of strong, independent, intelligent women who sew. Also, guys get all the cool band shirts and I'm damned if I'll be wearing a logo babydoll when dudes get badass skulls and tour dates and shit.

I also make rag rugs, and bake, and sometimes I clean up after myself.

Tune in next time when I talk about the how vinegar failed me.